I want the pain to stop.
My chest hurts.
Sometimes I can’t breathe.
I’m exhausted, I just want to curl up and close my eyes.
I cry. A lot. Sometimes I don’t even know why.
Everything that happens is magnified. Everything hurts so much more.
Everything seems like an ending. Everything is so final. I feel like everything is slipping away. Getting out of reach.
I don’t feel in control of anything. I feel weak.
I am afraid.
I am afraid that I am not strong enough to keep moving forward. To work through everything that is all so overwhelming.
I try to focus on one thing at a time but I can’t block out everything after that one thing.
I am trying. I keep trying.