I wrote a post with the exact same name on my old blog about 7 years ago. At the time, I focused on how my expectations regarding being a mom had not manifested as I hoped. When I was a kid, all I ever wanted was to be a mom. To stay home and teach and guide them. That was what I assumed my purpose was.
When my kids came along and I tried to be home it just didn’t work out for a variety of reasons. It was incredibly disappointing to have my dream not come to fruition like I thought it should and I had to work through all my feelings there.
Now I find myself circling back to unmet expectations. This time I’m thinking more broadly. Wherever I look, I see myself having expectations that are feeding my negative self-image because I believe those unmet expectations are my fault or a reflection of me somehow.
OK, my therapist helped me see this and once again I realize how every time I go to therapy I rediscover something I already knew but somehow forgot.
I have expectations for myself that I most certainly never live up to. I have expectations for those around me that they are not even privy to much less able to achieve. I have expectations for situations and events because I have played out in my head what I believe are all the possibilities yet real life is never what my brain thought.
I focus on all those unmet expectations and disappointments and totally miss all of the positive around me.
My therapist wants me to note positives throughout the day and work on acknowledging what I perceive as negative and then letting it go or shelving it somehow for later. That’s what I’m trying to do now. I’m keeping a list of daily positives.
I’m trying to release everyone and everything (including myself) from the impossible expectations. Sounds simple, but really difficult for me.
Meet people where they are. Accept situations for what they are. Accept and love myself. Not everything is my fault.