Wondering

Trigger warning: Talk of suicide. This week's news has been full of articles about two celebrity suicides and the study showing that suicide rates have risen by 30%. As someone who struggles with anxiety and depression, this kind of news can be difficult to navigate. I've shared a few articles on social media about reaching …

Feeling

As I seem to be "leveling off" (for lack of a better term) after being so all over the place and everything being so over the top and exaggerated, I think I am starting to feel more "real" stuff. I'm not sure if that makes any sense. It's hard to explain. For the last several …

Returning

As the latest medication changes start to affect my system, I am happy that the panic attacks and increased anxiety have improved. But the sadness is returning. It should improve over time but I guess I have to go down again before up. The roller coaster I prefer to never ride. Last Friday my MIL …

Some Progress

Maybe there is something to this therapy thing after all. I'm used to hearing about how negative I am about myself. I hold myself up to impossible standards that are different than those I have for others. Others can fail and be supported and comforted. Not me. Others don't have be perfect. I do. Others …

I keep trying

I want the pain to stop. My chest hurts. Sometimes I can't breathe. I'm exhausted, I just want to curl up and close my eyes. I cry. A lot. Sometimes I don't even know why. Everything that happens is magnified. Everything hurts so much more. Everything seems like an ending. Everything is so final. I …